Bais HaVaad on the Parsha, Parshas Vayigash

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Excerpted and adapted from a shiur by Dayan Yehoshua Grunwald   

December 21, 2023

 

And he said, “I am Yosef your brother, whom you sold to Mitzrayim.”   

Bereishis 45:4

The Torah doesn’t say whether Yosef forgave his brothers for selling him, but some sfarim say that he did. R’ Chaim Palagi (Sefer Nefesh Chaim) asks if so, why were the asarah harugei malchus killed as punishment, as recounted in the Yom Kippur davening? He answers that the brothers sought forgiveness only from Yosef, but not from Hashem, or perhaps not from Yaakov.

On the matter of forgiveness for bein adam lechaveiro (interpersonal) sins, the Chofetz Chaim cites Rabeinu Yonah that in order to ask mechilah, a speaker of lashon hara must tell his victim what he said about him. But R’ Yisrael Salanter maintained that to do so would violate ona’as dvarim, as the victim would be pained to hear the report, so the offender may not disclose what he said.

R’ Aharon Kotler is quoted as ruling that one should follow R’ Yisrael Salanter on mussar issues, even against Rabeinu Yonah. R’ Shlomo Zalman Auerbach and Rav Elyashiv are similarly quoted. But R’ Dovid Feinstein rules (cited in Vedibarta Bam) with the Chofetz Chaim, though he says that perhaps the penitent need not relate every detail of the lashon hara. Others say that Rabeinu Yonah was only addressing a case where the victim was already aware of the lashon hara, he just didn’t know who had said it.

[1] See also Bereishis 50:17-21, where the brothers ask for forgiveness, but it is unclear whether Yosef granted it. See also https://baishavaad.org/bais-havaad-on-the-parsha-parshas-vayechi/ for more on this matter.