Q&A from the Bais HaVaad Halacha Hotline

Dress Coed

November 27, 2025

Q I misplaced my scarf, and it’s cold outside. May I wear my wife’s?

A The Torah commands, “Lo yihyeh chli gever al ishah velo yilbash gever simlas ishah (A man’s garb shall not be on a woman, nor shall a man wear a woman’s garment).” Rashi explains that doing these things would allow the mingling of men and women and lead to immorality. Following this, the Bach (Y.D. 182:5) says that the prohibition applies only if one’s intent is to resemble the opposite gender, not if it’s for warmth or another utilitarian purpose. His son-in-law the Taz (ibid. 4) rules this way as well.

The Shach (ibid. 7) expresses hesitation about the Bach’s leniency. The Binas Adam (Issur Veheter 74) challenges it from the Gemara that includes a woman carrying a weapon, which is utilitarian, in the issur. But R’ Moshe Feinstein (Igros Moshe O.C. 4:75) justifies the Bach, saying that his limitation only applies to clothes, which are designed to enhance one’s appearance, not to tools, like a weapon. In practice, since many Acharonim are stringent, you should avoid wearing the scarf in less than dire circumstances.

What if the scarf’s design is neither masculine nor feminine? The Gemara (Nedarim 49b) relates that R’ Yehudah’s wife made a woolen cloak that she wore when she went out to the marketplace and R’ Yehudah wore when he went to shul to daven. The Maharasha explains that she made the garment for the both of them. But the Chida (Pesach Einayim ibid.) understands that she made it for herself and later shared it with her husband, which proves that a man may wear a neutral garment even though it is owned and used by a woman. The Maharikash (Ahalei Yaakov 70) rules likewise.