Bais HaVaad on the Parsha, Parshas Vayigash

Name Calling

January 2, 2025

Excerpted and adapted from a shiur by Dayan Ariel Ovadia

And it was, when we went up to your servant my father…

Bereishis 44:24

Pirkei D’Rabbi Eliezer says that Yosef’s life was shortened because he did not protest when Yehuda referred to Yaakov multiple times as Yosef’s servant.

The Gemara (Kidushin 31b) and Shulchan Aruch (Y.D. 240) detail numerous aspects of the obligation of mora (awe) for parents. For example, one may not contradict his father or mother, or even say that the parent’s opinion is correct (machria). According to the Shach, one may not even contradict his father in absentia. But the Taz says one may adduce proofs in support of a parent’s opinion. He also says that in matters of Torah, it is permitted to disagree in a respectful manner. Thus the Tur often cites both his father, the Rosh, and others who disagree.

The obligation of mora also includes not calling parents by their first names, even after their deaths. Moreover, one may not even call out to someone else with the same name as his parent. (According to the Rambam, this is permitted in the parent’s absence if the name is common.) The Sdei Chemed notes that this might pose a problem for Sphardim, who often name a son after his father, in which case his siblings couldn’t call him by name in the father’s presence. He concludes that this is permitted because in such cases the father is mocheil (waives) his prerogative.