Bais HaVaad on the Parsha, Parshas Shlach

A Grave Error?

June 19, 2025

Excerpted and adapted from a shiur by HaRav Yechiel Biberfeld

They ascended in the south and he arrived at Chevron…

Bemidbar 13:22

Why does the pasuk begin with “they” and continue with “he”? Rashi (referencing Sotah 34b) explains that all the spies ascended in the south, but Kaleiv alone went to Chevron, to daven at the Me’aras Hamachpeilah that he be saved from the counsel of the other meraglim.

Nevertheless, the poskim disagree whether it is generally permitted to daven at a kever.

According to R’ Chaim Paltiel (cited by Bach Y.D. 217 and Shach Y.D. 179:15), one should not daven at a cemetery, because it is similar to doreish el hameisim (consulting the dead), which is forbidden mideOreisa (Dvarim 18:11).[1]

The Bach (cited above) argues that davening at a cemetery is a widespread minhag and has a firm basis in the Zohar. In fact, the Shulchan Aruch and Rama mention the custom multiple times regarding specific occasions during the year.[2] But the Bach emphasizes that only davening to Hashem for assistance in the merit of the deceased is permitted; praying directly to the dead is forbidden. This approach is taken by the Mishnah Brurah (581:16) as the practical halacha.

A third approach is mentioned by the Pri Megadim and the Elleff Lamagein (O.C. 581), citing the Shelah, that it is permitted even to directly ask the deceased to intervene with Hashem for salvation. According to this approach, it would seem that the minhag to daven at the cemetery is relevant only to the graves of upright family members and tzadikim.

[1] See Sanhedrin 65b and Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 179:13, where the issur is described as not eating and sleeping in the cemetery in order not to invoke a spirit of tum’ah.

[2] See Shulchan Aruch and Rama O.C. 581:4, 605:1, 559:10, and 579:3.