Teshuva for Shoplifting

By Rabbi
Yitzchok Basser

Q:

In his teenage
years, someone shoplifted from a store owned by a family friend. He wants to
make amends. Is it sufficient to anonymously return the value of the item
stolen, or must he take the difficult step of identifying himself and asking mechila.

A:

It is
preferable to ask mechila, but he is not required to do so. In a
case of difficulty one may be lenient and not ask.

There is an
apparent contradiction regarding this issue. The Rambam in the Laws governing
Personal Injury (Hilchos Chovel U’mazik 5:9) states that there is a distinction
between causing another person bodily harm, and damaging monetary possessions.
The latter needs only to pay for the damages incurred, whereas the former must
also ask mechila, forgiveness, from the victim. This would imply that
stealing, which only involves monetary harm, would not obligate requesting mechila.

However, in the
Laws of Teshuva the Rambam (2:9) states that Teshuva only helps for
transgressions Bein Odom LaMokom, between man and his Creator. However
regarding transgressions against another person, such as causing him bodily
harm, or cursing him, or stealing from him, one will never attain atonement
until he returns what he has taken, and appeased his friend.

The meforshim point out this seeming contradiction. The meforshim take two approaches in answering this question. The Lechem Mishna (Hilchos
Chovel) answers by noting that the Rambam in Hilchos Teshuva refers to stealing
as Gezaila, which connotes a form of thievery whereby the thief takes the
object by force from the owner, and proceeds to derive personal benefit from
the object. Such an act causes emotional distress, and therefore warrants
asking for mechila. However the Rambam in Hilchos Chovel is referring to
damaging another person’s possessions, which lacks the element of causing
significant emotional distress, and would therefore not require asking mechila.

The Sefer
Hakovetz (see also Darchei Dovid B”K 91b) takes a completely different
approach. He understands the Rambam in Hilchos Chovel to be discussing the
minimum obligation to attain any level of atonement. Only one who causes bodily
harm would be included in such an obligation. However in Hilchos Teshuva the
Rambam discusses the proper approach that a penitent person should have, and
that is to request mechila even for transgressions that are not
as severe as causing bodily harm.

Getting back to
our question, whether a shoplifter is obligated to ask mechila, it would
depend on these two approaches. According to the Lechem Mishna, since the
stealing took place in a manner that did not cause emotional distress, he would
not be obligated to ask mechila.

However,
according to the approach of the Sefer Hakovetz it would be proper to ask mechila.

In our case,
since asking mechila involves emotional difficulty, and
according to the Lechem Mishna there is no obligation at all to ask mechila, and even
according to the Sefer Hakovetz doing so would not be a strict obligation, one
may be lenient and not disclose his identity for the purpose of asking mechila.

It would be
proper to send an anonymous letter apologizing for his indiscretion and asking
for forgiveness.